PSST.. look over here! If you’re over 60, female widow, divorced or living single, or if you’re none of those things but want to know what the hell I’m up to over here… read on.
Sex is a contact sport played with no protective gear (condoms don’t count in this metaphor). I’ve heard tell that couples who try unconventional moves in bed have a ‘safe’ word that tells your partner a flag is thrown on the play. We both settled quite naturally into our own safe word. “Cramp!” When that word is invoked, it’s an immediate signal to disengage and tend to whatever hip or leg muscle has frozen up. Muscle cramps can be painful, but with a little relaxing massage, no 911 call necessary.
As we age, diet and exercise have more to do with what shape we’re in than any pill bottles lined up on the dresser. Even one who has never paid much attention and ignored ‘healthy’ life choices benefit from a change. When I started doing ‘gentle yoga’ it was mostly to get to that magical shavasana meditation at the end; but another thing happened. My arms and leg muscles started to limber. Even after 60 it’s not too late to train muscles to be our slightly stretchy friend instead of the uptight enemy. A bonus feature of reaching 65 is free gym membership compliments of Medicare.
The worst culprit to looming health issues for me was paying no attention to the fuel I was putting in my tank. If it smelled good, I ate it. If it was made of a fermented grape, I drank it. Then I read a book and watched some docs about our toxic corporate farming methods. My digestive system was under assault. Meat (if that’s what they’re still calling it) is so cheap at every fast food outlet; heart disease, obesity and colon cancer should be listed as the menu’s bonus feature. I decided to switch to a plant-based diet after 60. There’s still a ton of tasty organic eating choices. And the food industry keeps inventing foods that look like meat or dairy but are actually good for you. So far the biggest benefit I noticed is pretty big drop in my sky rocketing blood pressure, and I still indulge in occasional fermented grapes. Lucky for me, my partner is a committed vegetarian for humane reasons, so we don’t conflict when it comes to meals. There may also be a bonus feature. One thing we’ve not ever needed in bed; the thing that is many an old man’s bestie: Viagra. I’m not sayin’ a vegan or vegetarian diet is an rx for how to maintain a healthy stiffy, but if you are a lover of living, happy animals, feel free to start the rumor.